it all comes out.

im not angry at all. 

today in the morning i was sleeping so well, until i heard my mom talking to my uncle. always talks so loud it wakes me up and gets me a little bit annoyed. i was going to tell her to shh.. but instead  the subject she was talking about was my dad, so i just laid their pretend i was sleeping.she always talk about him, like always. woman love to start problems, they love attention, they love making people do it their way,when they cant have it their way they start a problem. they love to argue. she kept running her mouth about oh how she hates my dad, how she isn't going to do his laundry, how she is moving, how she doesn't even eat his food, how she will go on her own and leave all of us. currently its only like me my sister uncle and my mom and dad. she was telling my uncle how my dad always say "if i die, you guys will die to. you guys wont survive with out me." who says that right? i don't think that's true, cause i know my mom support us, she is the one who pays for all the bills when my dad takes the money to gamble and talking about gamble he is so addicted to it, when he gets his check all the money goes to gambling&beer. she was talking about how he doesn't even care about us as much. he gets out of control when he drinks and that's like most of the time. how he always buy cars that he like and never think about what do we like. how he treat other people outside of our family better then us. she was talking about how if she left she knows that the person who would care for him most would be my step-sister kym. its true, i don't care as him as much cause what he does. i just know for a fact that its only going to be my step-sister kym and i who would care for him. she said "i care for pat most in the house, i love her more then my kids. she never met her mom, her dad doesn't even show her that he cares for her or love her." right when she said that i started tearing up. i pretend i didn't hear that or let them know i was awake. she was saying that my dad don't think i love him when she knows i really love and care for him. she was saying how he never talks to me at all, like about school or do i feel happy. she asked him one day "why you never ask your daughter does she feel happy about school or how is she? you never talk to her." he never answered her. that made me cry even more, i think i would feel a bit good if he asked me if i was happy and wanting to know how i feel. we don't even talk no more. she brought up how i stop going school cause i was unhappy and how i dont have money. she gives me money for taking my sister to work not as much only like 40 dollars a month but i save it up. my dad gives me money sometimes when he gets his check. i save. i try saving. she was talking about how he yells at me for buying used shoes. how he doesnt see that im buying "USED" shoes cause i dont have money for new stuff. there was so much more. i just stayed in bed for awhile tearing cause i didnt want her to know i heard everything.

i was tearing up typing this up as well, now my nose is stuffy.