i love talking to her.

i havent texted her for few days i wanted some time and see if i can handle it. i did couple of days.. i gave in yesterday. april 29. i miss talking to her thats why. i didnt want to bother her since school is ending and all these test and she has to study and all of that. :) its kinda wierd since we didnt text each other for couple days and i texted her and conversation still goes :). ya i missed her. kinda wierd because i dont know why i miss her. shes coming back june staying for a bout 2-3 weeks. her birthday is coming! im planning to send her a gift over there. any ways i cant wait for her to come back.

i have such moodswings. they slap me in the face.

her: your not sending me anything!
me: why not???
her: cos i still owe you.
me:doesnt matter. CUZ your a lagger!
her:i really am
me: yeah you are! its cool i dont want anything from you anymore!
her: :(
me:i send you something watch
her: nevurrrrrrr
me: why? what the hell.
her: its okay no bday gift for me
me: fine sasquatch! ill ttyl have a good tiem at work and studing!
her: booooo youuuu!
me: i shower i stinky ok! i miss you though. <2 bye caca
her: haha you smell like camel poo! Miss you camel! mwarr

dont know what im feeling.

lately i been thinking how i should stop talking to someone because i feel like she doesnt appreciate as much. first when you see someone, meet someone you like them already but once you get to know them personally and how they are then you start to feel like you dislike little things. i think its happening to me. this whole routine with luisa has gotten to me. once you open up to someone tell them all your secrets, love them, be there for them for so long that your so use to it, it can be gone forever! i hate when that happens i dont do it on purpose but i feel that i get attach and want it my way all the time. if i cant have it, i try and i try and i fall at the end, i hurt my self. i want to hear what i want to hear. i cant blame luisa that she did this to me! i have to blame my self for always doing this to myself. its not anyone's fault but mine. thats why it takes time for me to get on that level where i can open up so much to you and be werid with someone just cause your confortable with them.

i hate leaving and stop talking to someone cause i feel like its their fault but really its me. i know she hasnt done anything to me to hurt me, but i switch stuff up and i think so negative like im bothering her and all these dumb stuff. i dont know why im such a negative person its who i am, i dont think i can change that. i really do miss her though. i wish we hung out when she came back. she tells me were going to do a bunch of stuff when she comes back but it never happen. i was hurt. i didnt tell her though i was hurt and dissapointed. she promise me when she comes back again well do all the stuff we talk about but i dont know anymore. i stop texting her and i think ima stop for awhile. its hard stop texting someone you text to everyday. i love talking about how her days was. all the little things matter the most to me. mmm i dont know what im feeling. i really dont. i dont get myself.

sometimes i hate people! but i miss them certain of times. then i hate them again.

whats going on.

damn it i havent blog lately, i should. my laptop charger broke so i havent been getting on as much! im usualy my sister old laptop which is pretty lame because she has so much stuff on here and the charger is messed up as well. blah.

great news. my grandma left she moved. she went! finally. i have my space. i love my bed, my room! my space! i been working alot well thats all i do now  a days! i saved up alot of money. still saving not stoping. its good to save to think about what can happen. this is just a small update. my red integra was stolen like few weeks ago! its all messedup when we found it so we didnt want it anymore. im saving for a car. i been driving my dad truck which sucks cause i have to take my sister to work at 5. then my dad at 8 then myself at 9. its crazy. im still living though so thats good.

i recently got a longboard! i been wanting one since my friend introduce me and got me hooked! i love it. i got it used from a friend its pretty messedup but it dont matter cause if i get into it more ill get my self a Original but now i have a sector nine. :) yay for cruising! i cant wait to cruise the beach when i have time in the summer :) i havent been smoking. i stop for awhile. for no reason. i know i dont need it. :) its fun being high though. Also i know i can have fun sober so no worries :)

i dont know how i feel about this girl anymore.

blah pointless blog just a little update.