to feel comfortable.

i was talking to a girl i met online from San Deigo like along time ago and its pretty cool cause she still keep in touch with me, we were talking about how opening up and child hood and life just catching up. its great cause i never met her before and we are well we will when she gets to los angeles. shes such a cool buddy i have! we talk to each other like we know each other. haha. the subject "being fat" came up. she said she was fat and i was like hell no she is not fat well through pictures she doesnt not look fat at all, she said its cause they are pictures and that i have to see her in real life. i saw her senior picture and she was chubby but now she doesnt look like that at all and she tells me she is exercising alot and she stop eating alot of stuff. i dont think she has to loose weight, she looks fine i told her that she looks great! i told her i am the person who needs to loose weight. to be real alot of people dont like talking about their weight because they feel fat and uncomfortable with themselves. thats how i feel, thats why i hate exercising around people i hate it because i dont like my body. you dont understand trust me, only if you were in my body you will know how i feel. we had that in common because we both say were fat and we dont feel confortable. in order to be happy you have to feel comfortable with your self. you have to love everything about your self. ok cross that out maybe not to love everything about your body but you know'. it stress you out if your like i dont like my body this and that. i dont really mind my fat, even though i really have to loose weight cause im pretty fat. i may not look that fat, but i am. unhealthy. also what i dont like the most about my self, of course on my old blogs i mention it. its my breast. i hate them! thats why i feel so uncomfortable wearing a T shirt. i wish i had small breast if i did i would be out with a tank top with no bra cause i wouldnt care if my tit's are just small. haha i wish i had small tits. all i can do i wish. but really im serious i will have chest surgery when i have money when i have everything in the right track. thats just something i want. i really want. mmm i just want to feel comfortable with my chest. even though i bind not all the times though i just wanna like not make it routine for example.

i have to wear a binder everytime i want to go out, i just want to get out of the shower with a T shirt and go out. i have to wear a binder and make my self comfy and then go out. its a hassle. but thank-you for my binder haha.