Sunday, October 10, 2010

Jelousy/Clingy

oh this subject. lets just say i am a very very very jealous person. im not a jealous person towards people/friends having stuff. for example "oh she has a new ipod" im jealous. im more of a relationship jealous bitch. i get very clingy when im talking to someone im really interested in. i fall fast. its like falling off a damn cliff with noone at the end to catch me. falling for someone i fall hard. when i get attached to someone i want them all the time. it gets annoying. i know im clingy and im a very jealous person. i can say that i calm down, i try to control it even though i know its hard. when im talking to someone i like i feel that i need to talk to them everyday and sometimes i think i annoy them. i gotta stop that. its just i like making the person feel speacial. what i dislike most is that when i do something really nice and simple for someone they dont even show that they appreciate what the fuck i do. people need to show it more. if a friend did something nice for me ill thank them. little things counts. simple things.

i remember i liked someone so much i was going insane. like literally insane and thinking back on it, i laugh about it. i think i changed. before i didn't really open up as much. i usually keep shit to my self, but now im opening up about shit and being real. i remember always texting that person everyday and flirting at school and phone calls and going out and all those little stuff. "she was straight." its funny though.. cause i know shes straight but sometimes when i would come over to hang out she would kiss me and in the back of my head im like wtf. i remember all the little shit we would do and it felt like we were in a relationship. i was so clingy i started to push her away =(. i learned. i would get mad at her for talking to guys and hanging out with them. its weird i got so jealous even though we weren't together. she was the first girl to make me cry i felt that i liked her so much and she just led me on. i felt that she just like the attention i give her. after the whole incident happen i tried moving on but it didnt work cause we had class together. when the school year was ending i found out something horrible and right when she told me her self i just couldn't take it anymore, i had to stop crying for her. i never ever cried in front of her though because i know im showing my weakness. when highschool was done we see each other here and there but not as much. its weird we were at a party and she starting going on me and kissing each other. i felt bad cause her boyfriend was there and she would sneak a kiss and bite my lips when he would go to the other room. its just funny now i dont care anymore if she has a boyfriend or not. i know if i was in the stage in highschool i wouldnt want to be a homewrecker. but whatever i dont care haha lets have fun ;)  ok maybe not. only if you dont mind ;)


"if your gonna do something.. do it for you!"

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