lately i been thinking how i should stop talking to someone because i feel like she doesnt appreciate as much. first when you see someone, meet someone you like them already but once you get to know them personally and how they are then you start to feel like you dislike little things. i think its happening to me. this whole routine with luisa has gotten to me. once you open up to someone tell them all your secrets, love them, be there for them for so long that your so use to it, it can be gone forever! i hate when that happens i dont do it on purpose but i feel that i get attach and want it my way all the time. if i cant have it, i try and i try and i fall at the end, i hurt my self. i want to hear what i want to hear. i cant blame luisa that she did this to me! i have to blame my self for always doing this to myself. its not anyone's fault but mine. thats why it takes time for me to get on that level where i can open up so much to you and be werid with someone just cause your confortable with them.
i hate leaving and stop talking to someone cause i feel like its their fault but really its me. i know she hasnt done anything to me to hurt me, but i switch stuff up and i think so negative like im bothering her and all these dumb stuff. i dont know why im such a negative person its who i am, i dont think i can change that. i really do miss her though. i wish we hung out when she came back. she tells me were going to do a bunch of stuff when she comes back but it never happen. i was hurt. i didnt tell her though i was hurt and dissapointed. she promise me when she comes back again well do all the stuff we talk about but i dont know anymore. i stop texting her and i think ima stop for awhile. its hard stop texting someone you text to everyday. i love talking about how her days was. all the little things matter the most to me. mmm i dont know what im feeling. i really dont. i dont get myself.
sometimes i hate people! but i miss them certain of times. then i hate them again.
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